“From the get-go, we just promised that we would be 100 percent honest and open when it comes to our emotions and feelings, and we’ve really stuck to that. Those conversations that we had – honest, open conversations – brought us closer as a team.” – Seohee, TUIDE
Something many of us personally struggle with is joining a group who’ve known each other for some time, where there are inside jokes you don’t get. That feeling of being slightly on the outside, even when you’re technically in the group can really jab in but often never talked about.
The Courage to Initiate Anyway
TUIDE built their closeness through a deliberate promise to be honest with each other. Sometimes honesty requires us to make a step first, like sending a text to catch up first or asking some questions to see whether the other person wants to hangout, even when it feels slightly awkward, or like you’re intruding on something already established.
Attachment theory (Bowlby) reminds us that humans are wired for connection. It’s not a want, it’s a need. The discomfort of initiating doesn’t mean you’re needy.
So even when it feels wierd, and even when you’re not sure it’ll be reciprocated. Making the first move can be rewarding because often everyone is just waiting for someone to take the initiative.
Learning to Read Reciprocity
When you find someone you connect with, it’s easy to want to get close and have a bff fast. But not all friendships need to be deep to be valuable. Some are meant to stay light – and that’s not failure, that’s just different kinds of connection serving different purposes in your life.
Finding people who you vibe with may not be easy, but the friendships you build now can be more deliberate and intentional, like TUIDE!
Do you have any other tips on how to make friends?
Read more on friendships and making friends:
Making lasting friendhsips the Pokemon way
Skip and Loafers anime, on making and keeping friends
How to manage disagreements in friendships
Gif taken from Tenor
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