Ariana Grande’s release of Petal has sparked many conversations about her health, her choice to take a step back from touring and even the violence of some scenes in the video.
Perhaps as the devil’s advocate, we are exploring another contradictory topic. Anger and how it serves us.
“I wrote from a place that I don’t usually, which was like an unfiltered rage that I think we all feel sometimes,” she told Apple Music. “I usually am too shy to tap into that, and I think this time I kind of just didn’t filter as much as I usually do.” – Ariana Grande.
(This article is not recommended for young teenagers and children)
Why We’re Afraid of Our Own Anger
“It’s such a f*cked situation/petal in the pavement.”
Anger gets a bad reputation, especially when we are conditioned to be agreeable, accommodating, and kind even when we have every right to be furious. We’re taught that anger is ugly, unproductive, or dangerous. So we suppress it, ignore it or try to forget about the situation.
Every primary emotion that we feel, anger, sadness, fear, happiness, are natural human reactions to the life around. Suppressed negative emotions doesn’t disappear. It shows up as anxiety, passive aggression, physical tension, or a slow-burning resentment that poisons relationships from the inside.
Ariana described petal as being about “breaking up with all different kinds of negative attachments, whether it’s my own monsters in the head, external voices that no longer serve me.” And sometimes breaking up with what no longer serves you requires feeling that those raw primary emotions.
Anger as Information
“Just as long as she keeps getting it right/heartbreak won’t bite here in paradise.”
Anger tells you that something matters, that a boundary has been crossed, that you’ve been tolerating something you shouldn’t have. It’s the Fight response in the ‘Fight and Flight’ equation, an inbuild automatic, survival instinct that protects us in the face of threat.
The problem isn’t feeling angry. The problem is allowing the anger to consume you without ever examining what it’s actually telling you.
Anger or Rage
For those of us prone to exploding at all the wrong times and feeling really silly after that may just benefit from this quote. “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else – you are the one who get gets burned”.
Unbridled anger is often a sign that there are deep unresolved matters that we are holding onto. Processing and understanding what that anger is really linked to, would help us to avoid picking up hot coal and hurting not only others but ourselves.
Read more on how to manage your emotions:
Managaing your emotions
Inside Out 2: Navigating teenage confusion
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