Sydney Towle, a young woman who invited us into her most vulnerable moments while fighting cancer, has passed away. You might find yourself crying for a stranger you’ve never met and feeling a heaviness in your chest as you scroll through her Tiktok.
Why do I feel this way?
This is vicarious grief. It is a real and valid response to losing an online connection that offered you hope or companionship during your own moments of loneliness. When someone like Sydney is taken early, followers are forced to confront their mortality which can cause anxious thoughts.
However, her life offers a different lesson; we do not have to wait for a negative situation, medical crisis or life-changing news to make our lives feel significant.
How do I cope?
This is where intentional reframing becomes a vital tool for your mental health. It’s not about toxic positivity or ignoring the pain of trauma. Instead, it is the conscious effort to look at a situation and choose to see value in it for your personal growth journey. It is the shift from “I have to do this” to “I get to do this.”
We often treat our lives like a dress rehearsal, waiting for the ‘real’ part to start after we finish school, get the promotion, or find a partner. Sydney lived her ‘real’ life in hospital rooms and quiet gaps between treatments. She didn’t wait to find meaning. Neither should you.
In her final essay on Substack, Sydney gave us some advice to guide our search for meaning:
All that matters in life, as life keeps reaffirming for me, is the people you love. The people you get to share this life with. The people you get to laugh with until your belly hurts. The ones whose shoulders are there for when the tears start falling. Through every ebb and flow.
How can you reframe one small struggle in your life today to find a hidden spark of meaning?
If the news of Sydney’s passing has left you in severe distress, please remember that support is always available. Reach out to a friend or find a list of professional helplines at Shadee.Care/help, including the Samaritans of Singapore (1-767) for 24/7 support.
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