no na have been celebrated everywhere they go for embodying their Indonesian identity and proudly carrying their culture onto international stages. As Baila puts it: “Being Indonesian is not a costume. It’s how we grew up.”
But what happens when the thing people love most about you starts to feel less like a compliment and more like a burden?
When Compliments Become Obligations
Psychologist Carl Rogers described this as conditional regard. It is when love, praise, or acceptance feels tied to performing a specific trait, that you have to maintain every single time.
This shows up everywhere in real life:
“You’re always so strong” → now you can’t be vulnerable
“You’re so positive all the time” → now you can’t have bad days
“You’re so authentically yourself” → now authenticity itself becomes a performance
The irony is painful: the more you’re praised for a particular trait, the more pressure you feel to perform it.
Receiving Compliments Without Being Trapped by Them
The healthiest response to a compliment isn’t to own it as your entire identity. It means recognising your limits, setting boundaries, and asking for support when you need.
If the people around you are holding you to a standard based on a compliment they once gave you, talk about it. Let them know what you actually need from them – which might be less praise and more genuine acceptance of all of you, not just your most celebrated parts.
Read more here:
Charlie Puth: Are you putting on a show?
iKON on Expectations: Which Member Are You?
Images taken from NME and FZINE
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